81 - Stage 3

[perfectsymmetry]

[Crowe pulled out the phone from the wall to keep him from spilling his secrets like the rest of the town. He was *full* of them, and he doesn't want them getting out, thanks.

And yet, he wanted to tell someone. He needed to talk to someone. So many people have told him he keeps things too bottled up, that he should talk about his problems...

No! He can't. He just can't. Something weird was going on. Hol got on the phone and told everyone he was a communist. It didn't make sense.

Housemates will find Crowe pacing about his room, a familiar worried expression on his face. He'll get stir-crazy after a bit, and head outside. But instead if usual warm greetings, Crowe will be trying to avoid everyone. Of curse, that won't stop people from trying to approach him, and he's too polite to turn anyone away harshly...

For the rest of the day, he'll be hiding high up in a tree at the park. And there he will stay for as long as he can.]

Comments

[wavewalker]

[ Trees are where Ian spends most of his time! He sort of runs across Crowe by accident ]

... Fancy meeting you here.

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

[Crowe's usually in one reading, but not often this high up.]

O-Oh, hey Ian. Um. How've you been?

[wavewalker]

I can't complain, all things considered. You?

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

...Feeling like I'm going to explode with every secret I have about any second now.

[wavewalker]

... Ah. It's got you too, then.

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

[He just nods for now.]

[wavewalker]

I can't promise I won't tell if someone asks me directly, but if you must tell someone, it's just the two of us up here.

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

I-I don't, I shouldn't, I just want to talk about everything. So many people told me not to keep e-everything so bottled up a-and I'm starting to wish I had listened.

[wavewalker]

Why shouldn't you?

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

B-Because! There's a-a lot of things I'm ashamed of-- [Erk.]

[wavewalker]

Crowe, let me tell you something. I have spent my entire life being judged by others. I've been looked down upon by my friends, by my family, and by complete strangers alike. I found I didn't like it much.

So I don't do it. Whatever secrets you have, and your reasons for having them, are your own, and I won't think less of you for any of it.

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

[He's silent a moment. He watches the ground below as he speaks, finally.]

Thanks, Ian. Y-You know how people always say that you'll feel better once you get things o-of your chest? I don't. I never have. Because it makes you face up to your problems a-and I don't want to do it. I can't.

[wavewalker]

I almost wonder if that's part of what this whole ordeal is about- facing up to things.

[ a pause, and he flicks his tail thoughtfully ]

But it's still not my place to make you do one thing or another. I'm just here to be an ear, if you'll have me.

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

Mayfield will do whatever it can to force people apart. I think it has something to do with that.

Ian... Do you think we're getting out of here? That we actually go home when people are permanently droned?

[wavewalker]

I don't know what I think. It's what I'd like to believe- maybe what I have to believe to stop myself from going crazy- but sometimes I'm not sure. I do think the only way to get home for sure is to destroy this place.

What do you think?

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

I did, for awhile, but I realize i-it was only because that's what people said. We had no evidence. Then that whole April Fools nonsense happened, a-and I stopped knowing what to believe. I think I've given up on going home. A-And I think because of that, I n-no longer know what to do with myself. I-I feel like I might as well be droned o-or something otherwise.

[After a pause.]

I really wish I-I didn't stammer so much either.

[wavewalker]

There have been people who have left and come back, though right? Apparently droned while they were sent home, only to return here some time later. I don't think people's claims were entirely baseless.

... Do you want to go home? Forget the logistics of how, would you leave, given the chance?

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

I do. Badly. B-But I would feel bad, leaving everyone behind in this place. I-I don't think I could leave knowing that. I would want to make sure everyone was somewhere they could be safe, first.

[wavewalker]

You can't save everyone, Crowe. No one knows that better than I do. [ Ah, that was a bit more than he cared to share, but he does his best to shrug it off. ]

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

Maybe not, but I couldn't live with myself if I-I didn't try.

I won't ask any questions, Ian, b-but the same deal goes the other way, i-if you want.

[wavewalker]

Leave it to Mayfield to make me face the past. It's over. I should move on, but I guess it still bothers me or I wouldn't be bringing it up like this.

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

From the sounds of it, i-it's probably not something easy to move on from. You might just not have realized it yourself?

[wavewalker]

It will probably always bother me. I just have to live as best I can in spite of it.

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

Probably the best thing to do, yeah. I-It's not like you can fix thing sin Mayfield much, anyway, when it comes to things back home. U-Unless you're luck enough to have someone from home here.

[wavewalker]

I wouldn't mind seeing some of my crew here, but I hate to think of my ship without them.