You got a letter, though. A lot of people perished too.
[ A beat. He gently hits Crowe through the sheets. Not hard, of course. A soft punch if anything. What it's a manly way of communicating through physical contact /huffpuff ]
Crowe. I don't know you well enough to know what you're going through. I didn't die seven times. This weekend I saw two of my friends as corpses. One was stabbed in the chest and tossed into a car and left to die there. A fucking car. And then someone I knew from before coming to Mayfield died here. He was shot in the head coming out of his house and there was brain bits and blood everywhere.
[ Sad chuckle. ] Let me tell you, it's not a good day when you're staring at a dead friend who's missing half of his face from a gun.
...
[ There's bitterness in his voice: ] Then I found out that everyone I promised to protect, like half a dozen people including women and children--dead. These people I promised they'd be safe if they came to a safe house all died on the way or at the safe house.
[ Another pause. Souji is in a dark place right now. ]
I know it's a game and I knew they'd come back when this is over. But how do you face the people you said you'd protect when they still died? What do I say to someone who died on my watch and I still lived? It's so ridiculous because I feel guilty about this. For a moment this weekend I almost went on a lunatic man hunt to track my friends' killers, and I wouldn't've cared if I died.
[ He glares at Crowe. His expression looks pained. ] I was in such a bad state that I thought throwing my life away would make up for it. But I realized that that wouldn't do anything for the people who've been slain, or our situation here in Mayfield.
[ Souji closes his eyes. ] ... I had to get stronger. I am going to get stronger. I still feel this relentless guilt, but I'm going to use this guilt to motivate me to be a better person. Are there people you care about here? Are you going to sulk in your room while life goes on?
no subject
[ A beat. He gently hits Crowe through the sheets. Not hard, of course. A soft punch if anything. What it's a manly way of communicating through physical contact /huffpuff ]
Crowe. I don't know you well enough to know what you're going through. I didn't die seven times. This weekend I saw two of my friends as corpses. One was stabbed in the chest and tossed into a car and left to die there. A fucking car. And then someone I knew from before coming to Mayfield died here. He was shot in the head coming out of his house and there was brain bits and blood everywhere.
[ Sad chuckle. ] Let me tell you, it's not a good day when you're staring at a dead friend who's missing half of his face from a gun.
...
[ There's bitterness in his voice: ] Then I found out that everyone I promised to protect, like half a dozen people including women and children--dead. These people I promised they'd be safe if they came to a safe house all died on the way or at the safe house.
[ Another pause. Souji is in a dark place right now. ]
I know it's a game and I knew they'd come back when this is over. But how do you face the people you said you'd protect when they still died? What do I say to someone who died on my watch and I still lived? It's so ridiculous because I feel guilty about this. For a moment this weekend I almost went on a lunatic man hunt to track my friends' killers, and I wouldn't've cared if I died.
[ He glares at Crowe. His expression looks pained. ] I was in such a bad state that I thought throwing my life away would make up for it. But I realized that that wouldn't do anything for the people who've been slain, or our situation here in Mayfield.
[ Souji closes his eyes. ] ... I had to get stronger. I am going to get stronger. I still feel this relentless guilt, but I'm going to use this guilt to motivate me to be a better person. Are there people you care about here? Are you going to sulk in your room while life goes on?