75

[perfectsymmetry]

Crowe had murdered by his target last Friday, who feigned injury. She stabbed him twice, and as he died slowly on the street she said something about her next meal. He didn't want to know what that meant.

When Crowe wakes up, it seems like a horrible nightmare. He doesn't realize it's been a week, or that the incident has ended. He doesn't care. Obviously he's incapable of helping anyone. So many people told him to be careful, and he was killed so quickly.

At least he's right about it being Saturday. He figures he has two days before he has to head into school. So he's not leaving his room, or his bed. If anyone knocks on his door, it won't be answered. If they open it, they will just find him lying in his bed, not turning to answer who see who it is. The soft sound of music can be heard, though - he's holding his iPhone, which is quietly playing.

Comments

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

I-I had actually gone almost 6 months without dying. Of course I got and get myself into all these... situations.

[inababanchou.livejournal.com]

If you look at it this way, your... deaths are proof of action.

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

[Almost sulkily:] For all the good it's done.

[inababanchou.livejournal.com]

You got a letter, though. A lot of people perished too.

[ A beat. He gently hits Crowe through the sheets. Not hard, of course. A soft punch if anything. What it's a manly way of communicating through physical contact /huffpuff ]

Crowe. I don't know you well enough to know what you're going through. I didn't die seven times. This weekend I saw two of my friends as corpses. One was stabbed in the chest and tossed into a car and left to die there. A fucking car. And then someone I knew from before coming to Mayfield died here. He was shot in the head coming out of his house and there was brain bits and blood everywhere.

[ Sad chuckle. ] Let me tell you, it's not a good day when you're staring at a dead friend who's missing half of his face from a gun.

...

[ There's bitterness in his voice: ] Then I found out that everyone I promised to protect, like half a dozen people including women and children--dead. These people I promised they'd be safe if they came to a safe house all died on the way or at the safe house.

[ Another pause. Souji is in a dark place right now. ]

I know it's a game and I knew they'd come back when this is over. But how do you face the people you said you'd protect when they still died? What do I say to someone who died on my watch and I still lived? It's so ridiculous because I feel guilty about this. For a moment this weekend I almost went on a lunatic man hunt to track my friends' killers, and I wouldn't've cared if I died.

[ He glares at Crowe. His expression looks pained. ] I was in such a bad state that I thought throwing my life away would make up for it. But I realized that that wouldn't do anything for the people who've been slain, or our situation here in Mayfield.

[ Souji closes his eyes. ] ... I had to get stronger. I am going to get stronger. I still feel this relentless guilt, but I'm going to use this guilt to motivate me to be a better person. Are there people you care about here? Are you going to sulk in your room while life goes on?

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

[As Souji talks, Crowe slowly sits up next to him. He knows exactly what he's feeling. He watched helplessly as his friends were dragged off to be tortured and killed in the Soviet town. He could do nothing for all his friends trapped and slowly dying in Westport, a lot of whom returned home burned, scarred and blind. Norway's phonecall upon his return still gave Crowe nightmares. He couldn't fight back as he, Ash and Ema huddled in a corner as the hazmats burned down the house with them all alive inside - and Ema had only come over to help protect the two.

The fact that things got that bad over the week doesn't surprise him. He knows where you're coming from, Souji, and his expressions reflects it. Crowe's just been kicked down so many times that it gets harder and harder to get back up.

Crowe's not sure of what to say to his friend. There's little you can ever say to help repair Maydfield's damage. He puts a comforting hand on Souji's shoulder.

Quietly:] I'm so sorry. I know what it's like. Trying to overcome that helpless feeling is... I-It's really the hardest part.

[inababanchou.livejournal.com]

[ He opens his eyes again. They're steeled and his gaze is as neutral and void of emotion as ever. Pained or not things are expected of Souji and he can't have too long to grimace and mourn about it, and he's not going to let Crowe wallow when there are things to do. ]

Thanks Crowe. It's the hardest part, but it's the part that will show us who we really are on the inside.

[ He stands, grabbing Crowe's hand with him and pulls him up too. ]

Chin up. Put on a smile for your friends. They need you as much as you need them.

[perfektsymmetry.livejournal.com]

[He gives Souji a nod as he stands, and the faintest of smiles. He's trying, he really is.]

R-Right.